The video
by Celine Alba
Summary: Red made a video. This story was written in january 2017. I deleted it last year after S04E22 (I was so upset then!). Now, for obvious reasons, I think I can publish it again. ;)))) One-Shot in English (for once).


Liz is driving to the bureau after dropping Agnes at her nanny when her telephone rings. She sees « nick's pizza » and picks up the phone to answer with a smile, « Red? »

It's Dembe.

« Elizabeth, Raymond has been shot. »

She immediately feels some kind of panic. « Where? When? How bad? », she asks. He replies quietly, « in Baltimore, two hours ago, very bad. » She doesn't need any further information and just says, as if it was obvious, « I'm coming. Where are you? »

Dembe gives her the address. She calls Cooper to tell him what just happened and that she needs to be with Red.

She's driving fast along the highway, thinking about Red, remembering how much she can care for him. More than he can imagine. More than what she should. She doesn't want to lose him. She needs him. She…loves him. She remembers his lips and suddenly feels the urgency to kiss them. So, she makes herself the promise she will kiss him as soon as she'll be with him.

Her phones rings again. Dembe again. Her heart beats faster, and she's scared when she's answering.

« Don't tell me he's…. »

She can feel the anguish in Dembe's voice when he says, « no, he's still alive but you should come quickly. The doctor said that there's less than 10% of chance for Raymond to survive ».

Finally, she needs to know more about the shot. That's why she asks, « where has he been shot? I mean, which part of the body? »

« The head. The bullet entered his skull. The doctor here took it off but… », he says, not willing to end the sentence. She insists, « the bullet entered the front skull, the right side, the left, the back? »

Dembe sighs and answers, « the frontal lobe, Elizabeth. If he doesn't die, he will perhaps be unable to speak or to move, or to even understand us, or worse, just to wake up. »

She doesn't want to believe that could be the end. She's got so many things to tell him, to share with him. And with a tear in the eyes, she tells Dembe, « I know. But he's a strong man. He will survive and awake, and he will soon tell us one of his funny stories. »

She's not that confident but she needs to believe that Red will fight for his life.

Before hanging up the phone, she tells Dembe that she's close now.

5 minutes later, she stops the car in front of a large house and runs to Dembe who is waiting for her on the last stair of the porch. He takes her to Red without a word.

And when she sees him, with the bandage on his head, she can help herself but crying silently. And then she comes closer to him and…kisses his soft lips. Staying on them to warm them. To make him feel her at his sides. And she's whispering, « hold on, Raymond. Please. You and I are not done yet. I want you to wake up and take me into your arms, kiss me, make love to me, whatever you may want to do with me, I'm okay with that, as long as you're alive. I need you. I love you. So, please, don't go! »

And she takes a seat nearby him, holding his hand in hers.

Four hours later, he's still in a coma, not meaning to wake up or just moving a bit. He's rigid and immobile as a stone. The doctor comes into the room and says, « there are less and less chances for him to survive, Agent Keen. I'm sorry. I did everything I could but now, it's him who needs to fight for living. His own will can make the difference. I don't know how he will be if he wakes up, but where is life there is hope. I'll be around in case of any need. » Liz doesn't know what to say. She needs to trust him because she knows that this man loves life more than anything. She is sure that he will fight. So, she answers the doctor, « I'll stay with him, and I'll talk to him, showing him how much I care for him. How much I actually love him. Do you think it can help, Doc? » And the doctor replies, « Perhaps. Nobody knows where he is now and if he can hear us. It's worth trying. But don't expect too much Agent Keen. »

When Dembe gets in he finds her whispering softly many things near his friend's lips. He smiles and thinks that if Raymond could see her like this he would certainly wake up faster than ever. He stops beside her and puts a hand on her shoulder. She turns back.

« There is something you need to see, Elizabeth. Raymond asked me to give it to you the day he'd die. »

She's about to reply that Red is not dead yet when Dembe adds, « I know he's still alive but I think it can help you if you're still looking for answers about him. I know that you love him and my deepest wish is to watch both of you happy together. That's why you've got to see what he let for you. »

Unsure to want to watch it now, she's taking the USB key Dembe gives her and he puts a computer on the table near the bed.

Then she asks, « what is it? Files? » And Dembe replies with a grief in his voice « just a video he did in January, when you told him that you didn't want him to visit your new apartment. Feel free to watch it when you're ready ». And then he left.

She turns back to Red and asks him, « do you want me to watch it now, Raymond? Will it help me or you? Is it necessary now that you know my apartment, now that Tom has gone to work with his mother and now that things could at least become easier for you and I? I know that if you were awake, you would tell me to ignore the video. And as I'm sure that you won't die here today or tomorrow or even next week, I'm feeling bad watching it. It looks as if there were no more hope for you. I'm not hopeless, Ray. You will survive. But, on the other hand, I'm a bit curious. You know how I am, right? So, tell me, what should I do? Dembe is always a wise man. If he thinks this video can help me or us, I assume he's right. What? You're moving a lash to tell me I can proceed. Okay then…I do. »

Feeling very nervous, she puts the key into the computer and…

 _ **« My dear, my sweet, my Lizzie,**_

 _ **When Dembe will give you that video, I presume I will be dead. Because that's what I told him to do.**_

 _ **I'm making it today, on January,12th 2017 as I can feel the shades of death coming closer and closer to me. It's been a long journey since we've met. A very long journey and I'm tired. That's why I think it's time for me to tell you all the truths you need to know. About your parents, about Sam, about me.**_

 _ **Oh I know that you did care for me. You probably still do. Not the way I would have liked it, but you do. Did you understand how deep was my love for you? I could have done everything for you. And dying is the last thing I can do to set you free. I love you, Lizzie, and my only regret will be that we never made love together. Perhaps I was dreaming that an old man like me could be loved by a beautiful young lady like you. So much for my dreams, you were, you are in love with Tom. I assume that's the way it should be. Will he be able to love you as much as I did? Probably not. But he loves you and loves Agnes and it's enough to make him a good husband. I mean it.**_

 _ **But I can't help myself thinking that without Tom in your life, I could have got a thin chance to seduce you, kiss you, and show you how good we could have been together.**_

 _ **Now, it's too late. I hope you're gonna have anything you deserve, because you deserve all the best, Lizzie. For you and for your lovely daughter.**_

 _ **I once had a family myself. But not the one you've been told about.**_

 _ **Perhaps I should begin at my very first day on Earth…**_

 _ **So, I'm born on November, 16th 1966. Surprise! How is it possible? I'm not who you think I am.**_

 _ **Raymond Reddington was born on February, 7th 1960.**_

 _ **My real name is Michael Scott. Yes, Lizzie, Sam was my older brother. And we also had a little sister, born in 1972. Her name was Elizabeth. Our father was a navy officer and our mother was a teacher. We grew up in peace and joy, near Bethesda where my father worked. Our life was perfect until the day…**_

 _ **I still remember that day as if it was yesterday morning. I was 16 then. Sam was already at the Academy to become a navy seal, and I was about to get there too. That day, Sam and I went to a party with friends of ours. So, we were out that night. When we came back home, it was 2 AM or so, the front door was open and the first thing I saw was the blood on the floor when we got in. There was blood on each floor of the house. We finally found our father, who had been tortured and then killed by a shot in the head… God, there were even bits of his brain scattered all over the wall! In our parents' bedroom, we found our mother, who had been raped and her throat had been cut. Sam and I were terrified and horrified but, like two zombies, we went into Elizabeth's bedroom and found her dead as well. The ones who did that chose to break her neck. Of course, we called the Police and the Navy. They all told us that they would find the killers but, nobody did. So, Sam and I investigated on our own. Why killing our parents? Who could have any interest in their death? Our sister was a witness but she was only 6! That's where we understood that we probably knew one or all the killers. Or our parents did. Sam took me with him and I entered the Academy at 17. That's where I met Raymond Reddington. He was already an officer but we both became friends. He was married to Carla and had a daughter, Jennifer, born in 1979. I was still looking for answers about my parents, still looking for the killers and Raymond helped me. A lot. More than anyone ever did. Sam gave up and left the Navy. We were still close but he was not like me. I wanted revenge, you know. I wanted to find these men and kill them. Sam of course wanted justice for our family, still he was ready to accept that this crime would never be resolved. I was not. I'm still not.**_

 _ **So, Raymond and I started with my father's job in the Navy. We found out that he had some links with the CIA and a man called Leonard Caul. Raymond met Caul first and sent me to meet Constantin Rostov. I learned a lot about my father, who he really was, what he really did. He was a kind of informant for the CIA and helped Russian spies to stay in America. Constantin told me that my father saved his life and his wife's too by hiding them in a small apartment in Bethesda. The one where you found all these pictures and books. Raymond and I were absolutely sure that someone in the CIA tried to take any advantage of the Russian spies and Leonard Caul told us that my father, your mother and himself were building a device to prove that the CIA was involved in many crimes, disasters, plots, and so on. We finally met Katarina and I watched them falling in love at the first sight. Even when we knew that she had been asked to seduce him, Raymond didn't stop loving her. The most difficult part for her was to deal with her husband and make him believe that her baby was his. But, well, one can say that she did it pretty well. Constantin, Raymond, Katarina and I were working all together, with Leonard's precious help, in collecting information, collecting proofs and building what we called the Fulcrum.**_

 _ **But what we didn't know is that both the CIA and the KGB were aware of our investigations. How? We still don't know. None of us could have betrayed the others because we all had good reasons to trust each other. Leonard wanted the CIA down and the Cold War to end; Constantin wanted to be safe in the USA with his family; Katarina wanted to stay there with Raymond and you; Raymond wanted to become Admiral and watch you grow; and I still wanted to find out who killed my family.**_

 _ **Still, Raymond, your mother and you were always meeting at my small house in Arlington. I was the only single man with a house that they knew. So, I did that for them every time they needed. And I must say that I was happy to watch them happy too. You were a wonderful little girl, Lizzie. You called me, « Uncle Secret » or "Uncle Mike" and we had fun together. We had been living like that for 5 years. I sometimes asked Katarina and Raymond why they didn't divorce as they were both married and they just told me it was impossible. For sure, Constantine was our friend and none of us wanted to hurt him. He never doubted that Raymond and Katarina were lovers. And that his daughter was not his.**_

 _ **As you know, the things went finally wrong for us.**_

 _ **It was the night before Christmas in 1990. I was in the car outside Raymond's house in Arlington, waiting for Katarina and you to drive you at your official home with your official father. When I heard the shot, I ran into the house to see my friend Raymond dying in the middle of the dining room. Katarina told me what happened but she was unable to tell me where you were. She said, « go and find Masha, Michael, please. I'm gonna burn the house as nobody will ever know what happened here ». I tried every single room without finding you anywhere. Unfortunately, Katarina didn't wait for us to get outside before lighting the fire. I think she didn't realize we were still in when the fire got in the stairways. The house was burning very quickly and there was more and more smoke all around. I couldn't find you but I didn't want to let you die like that. And as I was watching Katarina running on the grass outside, I was in your bedroom and heard a cry. I said, « Masha? » And then you shouted. I opened the closet and hold your hand to get you out as fast as possible. When you saw your father's body on the floor, you wanted me to take him out too. I couldn't carry him and you together. The house was burning and it was getting really hot inside. So, I chose to carry you first and as you were safe and sound outside, I came back in to take Raymond.**_

 _ **I took his body and I was on my way out the burning house when a beam on fire fell on my back. I was a little knock out when I threw the beam away but I didn't realize yet that the fire was on my back. I guess that the fear helped me forget the pain and gave me strength to get outside without Raymond's body. I let him there because I couldn't carry his body any longer. Katarina was with you, crying for Raymond, crying because you killed the man she loved, you own father, crying because they were fighting and made you believe he was trying to hurt her, crying because she couldn't handle all of this. She asked me to take you to a safe place, where nobody would ever find you and told me why her and Raymond were arguing. The day before, Katarina had been threatened by three men who asked her to give them the Fulcrum, otherwise you would have been sent to a special gulag in Russia. Raymond asked her what she wanted the most, the Fulcrum or you. He didn't want to lose you, at any cost and she didn't want to lose anything. By giving the Fulcrum to these men, she was taking the ultimate risk to be sent in Russia, with her family, means Constantine and you. However, Raymond said that he would protect her and you and even Constantin but she should never give the device which was our best life insurance. Because as long we had it, we had Intel and power. We knew something about how the world was going without the people having the slightest idea of it. Presidents, governments, kings, every powerful men or women were involved. Some didn't even know they were! Raymond was confident enough in the Fulcrum's role for our future lives. He was wrong but never knew it. I was wrong too when I thought that it would be enough to stop the Cabal.**_

 _ **And as Katarina was talking and talking and crying, you took my hand and told me, « Uncle Mike, your back is burning like the house ». You were right. The top of my back was already burnt. Badly burnt. And that's when I got the idea. I had been told that someone was working on DNA and was able to change a body into another one. I told your mother about that and she said, « you will never be my Raymond, Michael, but it could be a good thing if you could take his place into the world and carry on his work. He was such a good man! But first, you've gotta take care of yourself. You're seriously injured. You must go to a hospital, as soon as possible », and I replied, « above all, Katarina, I've gotta drive you and Masha somewhere safe. And we all have to leave that place now! ». She refused to come with us. She said that she needed time to collect herself and that she would join us later. Up to her, it was safer to be separate for a while. I should have insisted but as I said, I was not fine. My back was hurting me. So, I drove you to Sam's house, and let Katarina call a cab. I had no idea she was about to commit suicide. She didn't even go back to Constantin. That's what he told me, when he tried to kill me. And I blocked your memory. I didn't want you to remember that awful night. Then Sam asked a friend of his to treat my burns and I stayed with you two until I felt better. Of course, I told Sam about my idea. He said it was insane and that it couldn't work. But did I have the choice now that Raymond was dead and the Cabal was looking for me? The Michael Scott's best chance was to die and Raymond Reddington to hide himself until the things became safer.**_

 _ **Raymond Reddington is finally born twice. The second time was in March 1991, after 14 months spent in a private hospital hidden in the German Alps. I learned by the TV that Raymond Reddington officially disappeared the night of Christmas 1990, after the Police had found Michael Scott's body, entirely burnt under the ruins of his house. Of course, the CIA said that Raymond killed Michael and burned his house. But Raymond had friends in the Police and the Navy and many of them never thought he could have done it. These friends became mine later.**_

 _ **I've spent almost 4 years building him a new life. Building me a new one too. I knew I couldn't go back in the USA and say, « hello guys, how are you doing? ». I learned how to become Raymond, speak like him, learning more than I ever did at school about politics, economy, laws, learning four foreign languages plus the Spanish I already knew, meeting criminal to get their help, challenging everything to earn money, more and more money, and when I felt ready, Raymond Reddington was on the news again. This time, they said that I sold confidential Intel to criminal organizations. They were absolutely right! I sold some dark CIA secrets to my own organization! I wanted them to know that I was still alive and that I had the Fulcrum. It did work. Alan Fitch made contact with me and asked me to meet him in New-York City.**_

 _ **That's how everything began, Lizzie.**_

 _ **I know what you're thinking right now. You're thinking that I killed my own brother. Yes, I did. He asked me to do that for him. He was in such pain and couldn't bare it any longer.**_

 _ **You can't imagine how horrible it was for me to kill the only family I had. But I did because he was dying. You said I was a monster. You were probably right.**_

 _ **Nobody knows who I am but Dembe, Carla and…Constantin. He wanted to know if Raymond Reddington was your father. If I was your father, actually. I told him, « Yes, Elizabeth is my daughter ». And right after, as he were about to kill me, I whispered, « your Masha is Reddington's daughter but I'm not Reddington. I'm Michael and that's why I didn't want to kill you. Masha shot Raymond, he died in my house. We were all friends, Constantin. None of this shit is our fault. Not yours, not mine. » Then he became white as a sheet, made two steps away from me and went.**_

 _ **And Carla needed to know the truth as I was unable to be her husband. I couldn't make love to her, it was too weird, even for me. By the way, she guessed the Raymond she was married with was not the same than the one who suddenly came back 5 years after disappearing. She was not pleased to see Raymond again! What a hard day we had! She promised to keep the secret as long as I was signing the divorce papers. Which I did. I had some feeling for her, a kind of tenderness.**_

 _ **I don't know what to add now. I told you many times that the things were not as they seemed. I was smart enough to be Raymond Reddington but I was weak enough to fall in love with you. And Raymond Reddington couldn't fall in love with his own daughter. Do you understand why I was so conflicted about you? I could have told you the truth, it could have been easier for both of us, once you remembered that you killed your father, I should have told you. I know. But…but… I was so in love and unable to risk the loss of you. Losing you is what is losing me. I understood how deep was my love when you have faked your death. I was damaged, Lizzie. And when you kept me away from your new apartment, I knew that you would never allow me to be with you, by your side, that you would never love me as I do love you.**_

 _ **That's why I'm dying. I don't know if I could give you the whole list, knowing that I'm the last name on it. I expect we finally found the men who killed my parents and my sister, so many years ago, the ones responsible of all that mess. If we did not, could you do me a last favor? Find them, kill them or put them in a very wet and dark jail, but don't let them live free. Okay?**_

 _ **What else? Everything I own belongs now to you and Agnes. Dembe will give you the papers you might need.**_

 _ **I'm so sorry, my Lizzie. So sorry for my silence, sorry for being a coward, sorry for the troubles, sorry for so many things…just remember that, there was a time in your life when you and I were friends. And that you met a man, several years later, who loved you more than anyone could.**_

 _ **I wish you a long and beautiful life, my Lizzie. I can't live without you but you know, I had two hard lives, enough for a single man.**_

 _ **Take care, my love.**_

 _ **Michael Scott. »**_

She stands now, deeply shocked, and she can hardly breathe.

She opens the windows and shouts outside, « What the hell are you doing with our lives, God? Why are doing that with us? But I tell you what, you'd better bring him back to me, safe and sound, because if you let him die, or even if he's not able to get a life again, I swear I'll tell everyone, all over the world that you're a serial killer, a liar and a master of torture! » And then she cries. Loudly. She cries like she never did before.

She stays like that a long time, waiting for an answer, waiting for a sign, waiting for her tears to calm down. Then she closes the windows and gets back to Red's side, taking back his hand into hers and kisses them.

Before falling asleep, she talks to him again, « you're such an idiot, Ray… Michael. Shit! I don't even know how to call you now! When you'll be up and fine, what I am supposed to do? Tell you that I saw the video and then, right after? I know, I'll kiss you like you surely has never been kissed. Then what? You'll be Raymond Reddington for everyone but me? Even Dembe calls you Raymond! But well, we'll deal with that. You're the same man I fell in love with. Because, just in case you didn't hear me before, I love you. I really do. With all my heart and my body. My heart beats for you. It's been a long time since I felt this way, you know. About two years I guess. But I was scared. Because I didn't know what were our links. Now that I know the whole truth, I'm not scared any more. Not at all. But I'm furious. Not by you. I understand why you did that. I would probably have done the same. No, I'm furious because some people stole our lives, what they could have been. Because these people are still alive. And yes, I'll get them and kill them. But I'll do it with you. Without you, I won't do anything else than helping Agnes grow and when she'll be old enough to get her own life, I will die myself and join you forever. Without you, I can't live. Do you understand how deep is my love for you? So now, I'm gonna get a snap, right here beside you, and I want you to wake me up with a kiss. It's an order Raymond-Michael-Reddington-Scott ! Come back to me because I love you. I love…you. »

She closes her eyes and falls asleep.

A few hours later, Red moves his left hand and feels that someone is holding it. He knows who it is. The smell of her is printed in his mind. He smiles. Then he remembers the shot and understands quickly why he's lying on a bed with Lizzie on his side. He opens the eyes and watches her sleeping. He smiles again and says, « Lizzie… »

That makes her wake up. And when she meets his opened eyes, hears his voice calling her name, watches him smile at her, she just rushes to the windows, opens them and shouts outside, « Thank you! » And then she runs back to him and kisses his lips. Softly.

He's quite surprised and amused by her reactions. So, he asks, « well, I guess I was about to die to deserve such an awakening! Can you tell me what happened? »

She frowns suddenly. He doesn't remember the shot. She stays by him and says, « You've been shot in the head. In the morning. Now, it's 5:37 PM. And yes, you were close to death this time. »

He smiles and replies, « I remember that, Lizzie. My question was more about what you just did by opening the windows, shouting outside and then kissing me. By the way, I loved it. You can wake me up every day like that. I'm your man! »

She realizes that he's really back, the same man than before, despite the bandage on his head. Now she needs to tell him that she watched the video. It was easier to think she had to do it if he woke up than to do it now. But before, she needs to…

Gazing at him, she only says, « I'll be right back. Don't move. » And she leaves the room. But when he hears her shout « Dembe, he's awake and perfectly fine », he laughs out loud.

Of course, the minute after, Dembe is with Lizzie in the room and simply asks, « How do you feel, Raymond? »

« Headache, not because of your shouts, Lizzie, I must say that. I guess the bullet is the cause. But I can move, I can speak, I remember everything, and I also can be kissed by this wonderful and beautiful lady here. So, I'm fine. »

When he sees Dembe and Liz frowning a little, he looks carefully at them and asks, « is there anything you need to tell me, both of you? Something bad like bad news? Because I can see you're trying to hide me something. »

Dembe is not only a wise man but also a brave man. That's why he's the first to answer, « look, Raymond, I thought you were dying. The doc said there were less than 10% of chance for you to live. So… I called Elizabeth and once she got here, I gave her the video ».

Red turns his head and sees the computer and the key inside. He winces and tells Dembe, « I told you after my death, Dembe. Not before, not even when I was dying, not… »

Liz interrupts him, « it's okay, Raymond. Or should I say Michael. Dembe did right. I'm fine with your story. We're gonna talk about it later, but I assure you, I don't blame you at all. So, don't blame Dembe for doing that. » Then she moves closer to him and kisses his lips again. Softly and quickly again.

Red says, « Dembe, can you let us now? Elizabeth and I need to talk and fix many things together, as you can imagine. And please tell the good news to the doc. Tell him that he did a great job. And, well, thank you. »

So, Dembe leaves, a large smile on his face as he closes the door.

Inside the room, Red takes Liz in his arms and asks, « so, my Lizzie, why did you kiss me twice, why are you so nice with me suddenly? I need to understand how you changed your mind. »

She smiles and touches his face with her hand while answering, « I did not change my mind. The truth is that you're an idiot if you thought that I didn't love you. Because I do love you more than you could imagine. Enough to ask you to live and forget to put your name on your list. I think I love you as much as you love me. And that's a lot! You didn't hear me when I was talking to you while you were in a coma, do you? »

« Well, I remember a voice, a female voice, yours probably but I still don't know what you were saying. If I focus on it, I almost hear a few words like kiss or love, but that's not clear. Why? » He answers.

And then she takes his face into her hands and says, « because I told you several times that I love you. That I fell in love with the man inside that handsome body. That I've been discerning my feelings for two years or so but that I was scared. Scared because I didn't know our connection. And I told you that now I know the whole truth about you, my parents, me, your history, I'm not scared anymore. Tom is gone and I would really like to share more than Blacklisters with you. »

« And what do you want to share with me? » He replies, smiling like a child, happier than he was never.

«Your days, your nights, your life, if you let me show you how good we can be together », she says with a wink, and she adds, « but above all, I want you to kiss me. A real kiss. A lover kiss. If you don't, I take the bullet down there and… » She cannot finish her sentence. Red mouth is on hers, his lips touches hers, caressing them with his own before opening his mouth and caressing them with his tong. She moans a little and opens her mouth to meet him.

Their first real kiss is so good that they kiss all evening long.

The doctor comes once to check the bandage and agrees to let him get off the bed. He then asks Liz, « would you mind if I asked you to help me in the bathroom? I need a shower. And I'm afraid I'm too weak to have it alone, without any help, you see? »

She laughs and says, « yes, for sure. I just hope you're not too weak for everything. »

And he takes her in his arms, kisses her again and again, and whispers to her ear, « perhaps we should check out how weak I am when we are together. ».

The story doesn't say how long they stayed under the shower but Dembe told once Agnes that it was the longest shower ever taken!

Raymond Reddington died…or were supposed to die as he disappears once more, in July 2020. He was the last name on his list. He and Liz found the ones who killed his family and Liz made the decision on her own to throw them in a wet and dark hole, somewhere in Antarctica. When Raymond died, Michael Scott born for the second time. And that time was forever. The funniest thing for Liz was to think that she was born Reddington, her true name, then she became Scott, then Keen twice (a mistake, as she said), then Reddington when Red marry her, and then Scott again.


End file.
